Tuesday, March 27, 2012

What my brain looks like.


I had so little to do at work the other day that I did this. Please don't make fun of my handwriting/spelling mistakes/other random notes. This is a sneak peak into my journal, the little brown leather one my dad bought me (ps. dad, I've almost filled it up. The black one you got me is nice, but not the same).

Since you probably can't even read the story, here it is:

"I'm only happy when I'm with you."
"I don't mean I'm unhappy when you're not around. I'm just fine, neutral."
"I'm not being weird. Lots of people feel that way."
"How do you know?"
"Well, just think about it. What is happy anyway? When you are completely alone, doing nothing, nothing influencing your mood, you feel neutral."
"I don't."
"I just feel however I feel. Whatever mood I'm in."
"But people effect mood. You're alone, remember."
"I know. But I don't think that's true. Maybe for you."
"Definitely for me."
"What about when you read?"
"Like what?"
"Like a book."
"What book?"
"Any book. Good or bad. I never feel neutral reading a book."
"That's different."
"Books count as people."
"They have everything a person has, but probably more. They are themselves and their authors. You are never alone in a library."
"That's cool."
"What you just said."
"It's just true."
"To you."
"I suppose. Now I know it might just be me."
"What more do they have?"
"I don't have to tell you that. You've read a book."
"I guess not."
"Never guess."
"Ok. So you're only happy when you're with me?"
"That's what I said. Because you are the only one listening."
"Listening to what?"
"That. And you do that. You always ask questions instead of just walking away."
"People walk away from you."
"That wasn't a question."
"I know."
"I wonder why."
"No you don't."
"Yeah. Come here."
"I am here."
"Closer. You are always too far away."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be, just come here."
You're shaking."
"I'm wondering how long it will last."
"As long as you want it to."
"Promise. Because I'm only happy when I'm with you too." 


I call it 'Two People With Issues.' Well, I don't really. I don't call it anything. Just journal doodling. It's small because I still can't decide if it's super lame or not. Probably is.



dolores said...

1st...very Dr Seusslike in your drawings. Happy to see you doodling!
2nd...I thought you were talking to your journal until I got to the bottom and you explained!:)

Maria said...

Really? That's cool, I didn't even think about it that way. I have two specific characters in my head, but I purposefully didn't say their genders or ages or anything to see what people thought for themselves. Let's just call them Person 1 and 2. But I like the conversation with a journal, that's really cool.