Tuesday, July 26, 2011

I still exsist.

I think I do anyway.


When I was young, I watched Star Wars. I mean, I REALLY watched it. I soaked it up and thought that if I wished hard enough, it would all be real and I'd be in it. Every other day I was a Jedi in my head (the ones that can love), the other days I was a smuggler, sometimes a fighter pilot. I had sidekicks and missions, my fun was only hindered by the limits of my imagination, which I admit, used to be (and no longer is) fathomless.Imaginary space battles lead to tiny fan fiction stories of my own, which lead to other stories which eventually lead to where I am now.

And that's how I want to write my critical essay for my my final project. But I can't; that's the tone that always gets me into trouble. It's not critical and no where near academic. I could write a whole string of essays about how Star Wars has affected my life and writing, but really that topic and tone are neither here nor there. I guess I'll just have to settle with themes in YA lit and where I think I fit in (which could easily turn into an essay on Neil Gaiman and why I want to be him, and how I'm failing to do so).

BUT, that leads to a nice point that Conan O'Brien made in his commencement speech at Dartmouth College a few months ago. (Watch it watch it watch it watch it.)  He said, among other things, this gem:

"It is our failure to become our perceived ideal that ultimately defines us and makes us unique."

Love love love. He went on to explain that he always wanted to be like the other great comedians who came before him, but completely failed to do so, but in the process became the comedian he is today. The whole speech was about how liberating failure is, at one point saying something about around the lines of how it's the greatest thing ever to have your worst fear realized. It was comforting to hear someone so successful talking to positivity about failure. So, in failing to be Neil Gaiman, J.K and Phillip Pullman, hopefully I'm becoming something else. Not something better, just different.

Shobha's empty room, Gav, James and myself saying our last goodbyes.
Jeffrey the skateboard/moving device of my own creation. 

New topic. Lots has been going on, which is why I've been absent for so long from good old blogger. Sorry, to all two of you who read my blog; I'll try not to disappoint in the future. I was hardly in Oxford at all in the month of June, off on lots of awesome trips, and July has been spent packing up my house, being sad about it, hanging out with dear cousin Mary who visited last week, and seeing Harry Potter twice (once on opening nightttttt in London! Was spectacular; I've never heard so many people cry in a theatre before). I'm currently homeless, but not really, staying in Alisha's room with Rose until our new house is ready on the 8th. I miss my old house and my housemates, although I see half of them every day anyway (which rules), but I can't wait for the new place. It is so cool, just you wait and see.

Also, I now have a bike. I'm technically baby sitting Shobha's bike while she's back in Austria. It's name is Bart. Rose just helped me buy a shiny new bike chain for it today, so hopefully I won't get it stolen. I can't believe I've been living here almost a whole year and am just now getting a bike, that's just crazy.
 
Mary and I on Phillip Pullman's bench.
 So basically everything here is different. Sure, I have the same job and am pretty much doing the same things (writing, reading, working, final projecting, hanging), but my location is different, most of my possessions are in my friend Charlie's garage and I have no reason to go all the way to Quarry Road ever again, which I won't miss. Besides all of that, it's the same old same old with me. However, the quality of my life is going to greatly improve in the new house. It's way closer to everything, cuts my walking time to work down from an hour to like 20mins, I can shop at the cheaper food stores, I'll never have to take the bus again, we have a kitchen table, a little yard, I have a bike and am about to live with my best buds; nice.

Sorry I have nothing actually interesting to write about for my triumphant return to blogger. I'll try harder next time. Now back to work, I have so much to do.

¬major7th

2 comments:

Kerry said...

YAY!!!

It all sounds wonderful...I have to admit I complained to your mother that you never write anymore...lol

I enjoy your "cogitations" very much...

keep thinking...keep dreaming and watch out for Bobba Fett!

foobella said...

I read your blog religiously but I can't comment at work and I rarely get on the computer at home.

By the way, has anyone ever told you you have a perfect author's name? I can just picture it on a book cover.