Tuesday, August 3, 2010

20 things I learned whilst being out of school.

1. How to use the word ‘whilst’ in a sentence. Even though I know how, I think the title of this blog sounds rather awkward. I’ll work on it.

2. Some battles are not worth fighting. Analyze that however you want.

3. The smell of warm tazikie sauce fresh out of the dishwasher is vomit inducing.

4. Children = cheerios, raisns and goldfish. Three reasons you should never take them to a restaurant if they are too young to behave, and three reasons I don’t want any. Children that is. I love me some goldfish.

5. How to talk to people. I can do it now. Still not very well, but much better than this time last year. I can talk to strangers with ease (although I know when not to, mother. I saw ‘Taken’), keep up with small talk that I hate so much and even sometimes, when the spirit moves me, enjoy it a little.

6. That being said, I also learned that I have ‘shy’ written all over my face. I was told this by a table full of psychiatrists, so I’m inclined to believe it. However the one man of the group also told me that he could get any women he wanted, be it a 23 year old or a 40 year old (he was about 50 I’d say), so maybe not. I sweetly told him that I’m 23 and he can’t have me, but I think he was either too drunk or full of himself to notice I was being perfectly serious and possibly a little rude.

7. Stephen King is rad. Like for real, he’s totally rad. I’ve only read one and a half of his books, and I think I’m a fan already. Not only is he an extremely eloquent writer even when talking on the subject of blood suckers in the night, but he seems like a truly interesting person. I’m also told that he is the cool kind of millionaire who builds libraries and funds youth sports teams. That’s the type I’m looking forward to being one day. In my dreams anyway.

8. Germans are close talkers. This is not necessarily a bad thing per say, just something I noticed.

9. Useless German phrases. I can say ‘sweetheart’, ‘what’s up’ and ‘you are so boring’ in German, but not much else. Oh, also such every day sayings as ‘cheers’ and ‘you are so mean.’ I would type them out to prove I learned these things, but let’s face it, if I can’t spell in English, do you really think I can spell in German? Our sources say definitely not.

10. How to spell ‘definitely.’ For years I would write ‘defiantly’ instead of ‘definitely’ but I think I have it figured out at last. Look out GREs! Here I come! OH wait, that’s about definitions, my bad.

11. Managing a restaurant is hard. It really is. And what I was doing was not nearly as stressful as what other people around me were doing, I had it easy. I will never eat at a restaurant again without thinking about if they are running their dishwasher the proper amount of times per hour or where they get their sanitizer solution or if the Asian places in the Mall food court really check their meat temperatures or if they just cook it till it looks done.

12. Girls are better than boys. Don’t bother arguing with me, I know I’m right and I have lots of evidence to back it up. Also don’t get me wrong, I still love the boys, I’ve just learned where their minds usually are and suddenly years of not understanding their behavior just fell into place.

13. I have the best grandparents ever. I did not actually learn this; I’ve always known it, I just thought it was worth mentioning.

14. I’m braver than I thought I was. I’ve stood up for myself more this year than I ever wanted to, and it actually feels good. So long pushover Maria!

15. I’ve not seen a truly good movie in a long time, then came ‘Inception.’ I guess the thing I learned here was that I had lowered my standards of what a good movie was in my mind. But the blinders are off! No-gravity fight scenes, Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s Heath Ledger smile and dreams inside of dreams have cleared my vision and upped my standards once more! Down with ‘Avitar,’ long live Christopher Nolan.

16. The fates hate me. I hope they are kinder in the future.

17. Online dating is weird. There, I admit it, I tried it out. Please don’t judge me, I was curious. A lot of my close friends have had a lot of fun with it, so I gave it a try. I think the only way to accurately sum it up is that it’s weird. It’s not good or bad for me, just strange. I know a few people who have actually found the loves of their lives on Match.com and Okcupid, so who am I to discount it completely? Whatever works for you is fine by me.

18. Packing for a year in another country is near impossible. In case you were wondering.

19. Doing NanoWrimo in November is really hard when I do not live in the same house as Nicole Bartow. This will be remedied when I get back from my European adventure.

20. School is better than working. SO much better. One of my favorite teachers in college warned me that taking a year and then going back to school would make me really miss having money, but I don’t see that happening. I got a booklet from my new English department in the mail today with classes I can take and details about my program and I nearly laughed out loud with excitement. I love love love love love love school.

This year has been strange to say the least. I’ve meet a million (give or take) interesting new people, learned far more than 20 things about life in general, vastly improved my ability to write shortly and sweetly (which does not in any way apply to this blog) and had a great time. I went to the German Army Oktoberfest, got to see the DC 101 building and watch Eliot in the Morning happen, discovered many fun wineries in the area and developed a taste for red wine, saw a stretch limo parallel park, had a Wisconsin adventure, watched all of Firefly and Serenity in a matter of three days, ate my weight in French fries and falafel, bought my first and only pair of high heels, co-founded my own production company (see Catfish Productions on facebook for more information) and dyed my hair pink during the snow storm of the century. I saw Star Wars in Concert, snow drifts as tall as houses and a tree fall on a car during a bad storm. My job destroyed four pairs of jeans, two pairs of shorts, one of my favorite skirts and three pairs of tennis shoes. To top it all off, this week I got to see my brother’s band Hold Tight! play a show in Richmond, went on the tallest roller coasters in Kings Dominion with my cousins and smoked a Cuban cigar with a new friend at my going away party. Things have been interesting.

Tomorrow at the crack of crack I’m hopping on a plane to take me to London, England where I will be picked up by my amazing friend Jen and shown the sights before heading to my new home in Oxford. I’m not going to get all sappy and talk about all the amazing new friends I made this year and how, along with all the old consistent ones, I’m going to miss them like I’ll miss ice water and one dollar bills. I’m just not. I’ll be back in 4.5 months anyway for Christmas, no need to be sad at all.

So long USA, it’s been swell. See ya on the flip side,


ps. sorry about the spacing and the unreadability of this blog post. That's another thing I learned, blogger is annoying to use.


Jacques said...

Oh, my dearest! You are adorable beyond adorable, as per usual.
Firstly, Whilst is so a British word and you'll get used to it (and even use it in everday speaking! SHOCKER!) as well as 'learnt', 'wanker' and 'bloody hell!'.
Secondly, I am SO glad you've learnt (see?) to spell definitely; however, should've learned this BEFORE sending me your manuscript! :P
Thirdly, I have about the same number of phrases in German, but they're different. Let's collaborate and then we can rule Germania!
I love you SO much and I'm so excited for your European adventure and to share some of it with you! See you TODAY!

foobella said...

Safe and happy travels, M!!

"Get ready for greatness, Lloyd!"

DeeRoo said...

Let the adventures begin...the girl has landed....watch out UK!!!

Tanner said...

I've read Stepehn King's magazine coloums (I think in Blender), and whilst in a more personal and informal mode of writing he strikes me as quite the awesome guy. And spelling in German is way easier than spelling in English.

Kelsey Austin Threatte said...

All things are correct and some of the most wise words I have had the pleasure of reading. Especially about boys and goldfish : )

Anonymous said...

I would like to exchange links with your site mgoodson.blogspot.com
Is this possible?

OK2BU said...

OK so I know I am SOOOOO behind. I have always been a very slow learner, but they say good things come to those who wait and 'they' were right!

This is awesome and I just LOVED everything you wrote. You are very correct - girls ARE better than boys!!