Saturday, December 26, 2009

So this is Christmas…

I haven't blogged in a while. What's with that? I've felt uninspired, uninteresting and entirely unremarkable lately which does not equal anything you all want to read about. Things have been happening too. I planned and pulled off a successful Christkindlmarket at work. It was so busy we ran out of fries half way through the day which is really saying something. I've made some new friends at work; always a plus. I got stranded for four days and three nights in Leesburg this past weekend in the blizzard of 09. That was fun. Today is Christmas; I got a DVD about how to tap dance taught by Bonnie Franklin.
However I remain uninspired, which is not a good way to be.

Over the summer there were times when I felt so full of creative energy that I just had to creates something or I would explode. Have you ever felt that way? Like, if you don't do something or make something or sing something or dance around your room or write a story or draw something, that you are going to burst? That led to some ok blogs, since I can't dance, draw, and probably shouldn't sing. I used to hate that feeling, because whatever I came up with to relieve the feeling, it usually did not end up being as great as I thought it should, given my pent up energy.

I don't think I'm explaining this very well. It's like when you get a craving for a certain food and nothing is going to be satisfying until you eat that very specific food. Or when you start thinking of one of your favorite movies, and then you can't stop thinking of it until you just break down and watch it again, or buy it if you don't already own it. That happened to me once back in Morgantown with a movie I had not even seen yet. My roommate Dawn and I were on a Leanardo DiCaprio kick and she started talking about Gangs of New York, a movie I had always wanted to see but never had. It got to the point where if I did not see this movie that very night, I was going to tear my hair out, so Dawn and I went on a mission to find the movie. We literally searched the entire town, looking at every store that had movies, neglecting the one place it was certainly going to be because we thought Best Buy would be too expensive. In the end I had to get it at Best Buy, and it wasn't expensive, and totally worth it. I love that movie. So anyway, that's sort of like that feeling I used to get, except with creative energy instead of movies. Is this normal or does this just happen to me? I would not be surprised if it were the latter, I'm a weirdo sometimes.

The moral of this story (well not moral, point rather) is that I've not felt this way in a long time. It's safe to say I've not felt annoyingly inspired in months, and I'm starting to miss the feeling. November was not bad since I had my Nano story going on, but even by the end of the month I was losing steam. Why is this I wonder? Is it because I just got into school and subconsciously I'm freaking out that I won't be a good enough writer to earn my MA? That's possible. Is work stressing me out? Who knows? What could it be? That feeling I used to hate is the one I wish I could get back. Isn't that always the case?

I need to start thinking of some New Years resolutions. I like making them up but rarely keep them. Last year I made up about 9 I think for 2009, but they were lame things like 'actually watch Top Gun' and 'wear more hats.' I did actually watch Top Gun though, which is nice. Before I used to lie and say 'oh yeah I love Top Gun,' when in reality all I had seen was the volleyball scene. This year I need to make some better ones, which is what I say every year. I think one of them should be to write every day. That's the only way to get better, says the world. I can't argue with the world. Actually, I can, which might be something worth writing about. Anything's worth writing about. Everything's worth writing about. The world is worth writing about.

Maybe it's the winter that's getting me down. Winter never used to get me down, but then again this entire weird year off from school has been full of things that never used to happen.



Friday, December 11, 2009

Bye Bye Monkey

I canceled my Netflix the other day. I was so upset about stopping it that I didn’t even write down my last categories, nor look at them. Too sad. However, one good thing is that they keep your queue saved for two whole years from when you canceled, so I can always go back. I will miss you Netflix, I never thought I’d see the day when we were to part ways, but alas, that day has come. I miss you already.

Why did I cancel my Netflix if I love it so much? Because, as my dear friend Jen informed me, they do not have Netflix in England. Why does that matter? BECAUSE I’M GOING TO LIVE THERE! That’s why!

I got into Oxford Brookes, that school I feel like I’ve been applying to for at least a year now. Last Thursday was my phone interview which went very well, and a few days later I got the e-mail confirming that I have been offered a position in the MA in Creative Writing course. I am so excited; I can’t even write any sort of insightful blog about it. This is just me regurgitating what I’m thinking. EXCITED! Is it sad that I’m going to school for writing and I can’t even write something thoughtful about getting into my dream school? Probably, but that’s ok. That is what school is for, to make me better.

Here is my plan for the next year of my life, eloquently put into works by my dear Aunt Petrina:

"Adventurous, free spirited girl attends grad school in Oxford, England. Meets English boy while working in tiny bookstore to supplement her tuition. Boy and girl fall in love but know that they only have a short time together. Girl graduates with highest honors and accolades and moves back home, all the while promising her love to boy. Time passes. Boy and girl lose touch. Girl goes on to write best-selling novel inspired by her time in England and with boy. Boy shows up at girl's book signing in NYC. They live happily ever after, traveling the world together."

I like it. I mean, I don’t really want to lose touch with future dream boy for the amount of time it takes to write a book, so years, but it does make for a good story so why not?

Speaking of writing books, I need to get back to mine. I’m so close to finishing, it’s unreal. This will be the first Nano story I’ve ever completed, the longest single story I’ve ever written (getting around 200 pages) and my favorite storyline of all time, once completed. Nicole gave me a deadline of December 12th to finish so I can send it to her with enough time for her to read it by New Years, and that day is tomorrow. I better get cracking.



Thursday, December 3, 2009

Food Lies

Nano’s over, I won. The last few days have been rather wonderful, being able to do anything after work instead of the only option being to write. Don’t get me wrong, I obviously love to write or I would not have done NanoWrimo in the first place, but after a month of stressing about being behind on my word count every day and loosing inspiration, it’s nice to not have to write. Like last night, I actually got to read, imagine that? There is defiantly no room for reading in November, but now it’s December, so bring it on Percy Jackson and the Olympians. I’m on book one of six, recommended to me by my little cousin Nathan and just about every pre-teen boy on the planet.

I have an hour right now, an hour until my phone interview with Oxford Brookes. It was supposed to happen Thanksgiving day at this time. Unfortunately it didn’t, but with good reason. So here I am, a week later, waiting for my call, trying not to throw up. Last week I freaked out and said to my mom, “what if they ask me what my favorite book is and I forget? Or who my favorite authors are and I can’t remember?” She rolled her eyes and responded, “Then why don’t you go get all your favorite books and put them in a stack on your desk so you can’t forget?” So that’s what I did. It is comforting to be surrounded by my favorite books, all right there in front of me, reassuring me that I will survive the interview. Cyrano De Bergerac’s there to give me a little panache, The Princess Bride to make me funny, Harry Potter to remind me what a good book can do to the world, In Cold Blood so I don’t forget the power of a true story and To Kill a Mockingbird because it’s just so damn good.

I still have about 40 minutes to kill. Last time I wrote I was on my way to Wisconsin. So that happened, and it was fantastic. Mary and I only left the apartment to eat, spending most of our time watching the entire first and only season of Firefly, a SiFi Cowboy show everyone has been telling me to watch for ages and I just never got around go seeing. They were right; the show seemed to be engineered to be exactly something I would love. It was great being able to just sit around and watch TV and eat Chilly Cheese dip, I have not had the time to lounge around like that in ages.

Ok, so I exaggerated. We did leave the apartment a little more than just at meal times. Mary took me to her work place, Epic Systems. This place pretends to be a complex of office buildings, when in reality it’s a playground for adults. Each hallway has a different theme, be it Indiana Jones, Africa, the Metro or a conference room that is an actual tree house named Endor. They just built a new Asian themed building and were working on a Dungeon and Dragon’s themed building when I was there. Why don’t I work there again? No idea really, I like cold weather.

Mary and I also walked around downtown Madison and campus, which is always fun. Madison is a nice place; I really do need to come visit again in the summer time. I got to finally meet Mary’s boyfriend Michael who I’ve been hearing about for ages. He was totally cool, gets my seal of approval. I was sad to leave that Saturday but excited to get to Milwaukee and my Molly.

After two hours on a bus I made it to Milwaukee, a very different place than Madison. When I first got into Wisconsin and was taking the bus from Chicago to Madison, the state was not at its best. It was raining and gross outside, dark and dreary, wet and soggy. I got lucky the rest of the weekend; it was unusually warm and sunny. Molly and I dropped off my junk and then went to get sandwiches at a little anything-can-be-made-vegan place. I always seem to end up places like that with Molly, which is totally cool, as was evident the next night with a table full of different types of Meatloaf.

Molly and I did lots, including finishing my Firefly weekend by watching the movie they made after the show was canceled, Serenity. SPOLIER ALERT!! WHY Wash? Honestly, why do my favorite characters always end up dying? So abruptly too, and then no one even cared! Not even his badass wife with amazing hair and lips. Hahah, good movie.

Molly is one of those friends I always end up doing things with that I would have never imagined myself doing otherwise. Example: we went to see Peaches my first night in town. I will not go into detail about what sort of a band Peaches is, seeing as grandparents frequent this blog, but if you are really interested, look her up. I will say I have never had so much fun at a concert before where I did not know the band at all or any of the songs. She was fantastic, I actually danced. PEACHES WALKS ON YOU!

We walked through this one section of Milwaukee that was totally old school Germany and it freaked me out. People told me before I left that Milwaukee had a huge German community, but I was not expecting all the Hofbräu banners and Oktoberfest things. It was like I didn’t even leave Leesburg :-) Also, news to me, the place we get our Bratwursts, Usingers, is from Milwaukee. I saw their factory! WEIRD. That day we also hung out for a while with a bronze statue of The Fonz. Aaayyyy! Why bronze The Fonz you ask? Why not?

The last stop on my trip was the highest point in Milwaukee, a park with a view of the entire city. Molly and I sat on a bench, my hair freshly French braided the way only Molly can do it, and watched the hazy skyline in the cold November air. I really wanted to put her in my pocket and take her back to Lovettsville with me. Luckily our goodbye did not have to be a sad one because she came back for Thanksgiving, and I will see her again at Christmas.

So, after a wonderful weekend of talking Mary and Molly’s ears off, I ended up back in Virginia, welcomed with rain and work the next morning, as well as a NanoWrimo story I was around 10,000 words behind on writing. Somehow I made it to 50k, somehow, and now I’m happily trying to finish the actual story, but in a much more relaxed pace. December is good.

Alright, back to the nervousness. I can’t wait for England to call me! Wish me luck!