Monday, June 29, 2009


I really want an office. I want an office with a huge desk that can fit my computer, mouse pad, and an open text book on both sides and a printer comfortably without having to spread things out on my lap. Said office will need to have a few windows for light, lots of book shelves and a very comfortable chair at my desk and in the corner for reading. Other things that are imperative; high speed internet (wireless), major music hooks ups, and a great view. Also a door with a lock.

That might make me look like a hermit, but I don’t think there is anything wrong with that as long as it is not a permanent thing. I have been told before that I have hermit tendencies, so I guess this is me confirming that comment. No one seems to get me when I say I have no where to write at home, since my room is devoid of brother and there is a library in town. But listen, I am particular. I had a good thing going at school, my own room where I was seldom bugged and lots of places in town to go write. At home it’s all different for some reason, our house is too small. I need a better space. My room is very dark. I guess I am just going to have to make it work for the time being. Maybe if I clean it…

The entire reason I bring this up is that I just got back from London the other day and it has made me miss school. Our entire trip had a very literary theme to it; everywhere we went was someplace that inspired Oscar Wilde and countless other famous authors. We were in Dublin purely for Bloomsday, a day centered on the events in James Joyce’s ‘Ulysses.’ We saw George Orwell’s house, went to the colleges of Phillip Pullman, J.R.R. Tolkien, Oscar Wilde, and C.S. Lewis in Oxford and saw countless memorials to authors in Westminster like Dylan Thomas, Shakespeare, Jane Austin, Christopher Marlow and Wordsworth. We saw Geoffrey Chaucer, Charles Dickens, and Alfred Tennyson’s graves. We went to the college in Oxford were the real Alice lived and inspired Lewis Carroll to write Alice in Wonderland. I went on an entire tour to the places in London that inspired J.K. Rowling to write Harry Potter. We saw Peter Pan’s statue in Kensington Gardens. The list goes on and on and onnnnnnn.

My favorite place we went on my entire trip was Oxford by far. The most beautiful school on the planet. The students have to wear robes to their exams and a carnation on their lapels varying in color depending on how many exams they have completed. I could spend a year there and still not have explored Oxford to the fullest. I want to live there.

This is why I need a desk, because I need to go back to school. I have been out for a little over a month and I want to go back more than anything. I love school as much as the sun loves to shine, and I will get a masters degree. Be it from George Mason or Oxford Brooks, it’s happening. Even if I have to reapply to George Mason and take a whole other year off to pay for Brooks, it’s happening. No matter how stressful school can get sometimes, as much as it makes me want to pull out all my hair and run away, I love it. I love the stress. I love having somewhere to be all the time, having a schedule. I love learning and reading and WRITING. School is one game I know I can win. I want to go back.

So that’s all I have for right now, my realization that I am going to have a harder time in my year off than I originally anticipated. Until my joyful reunion with exam dates and reading two novels a night I have a few things to keep me occupied.

1. Summer reading list. I bought a few more books on my trip that have been added to the list that I can’t wait to get to.

2. All my unfinished stories and books. I have a LOT of unfinished projects from college, including my suicidal Frenchman book, color guard book and my two children’s stories that need finishing and finalizing. Also, my trip gave me a lot of new ideas, but I should probably finish the things I have started before moving on to other things.

3. applying to schools. Brooks first and foremost, but I think I might apply to a few others nearby just for kicks.

4. Classes at Nova. I might take a few next year so I can put off paying my loans a little longer. Could be fun, they might have a film class.

5. Finding a real job. Not that I don’t love being a beer wench (I really do), but I should probably find something a tad higher paying.

6. Start sending stories places. Never going to get published if I don’t start sending things into the world! Probably won’t get published anyway, but I will never know if I don’t do it.

The moment I got back from my trip mom reminded me of this writer’s workshop thing that was happening down near my grandparent’s house in Rappahannock VA. My grandma found out about it in the paper and had asked if I wanted to go ages ago, but I completely forgot in my excitement over my trip. So yesterday mom and I got up at 5am to drive down for the workshop. This also made me miss school a lot, mostly my old school.

The workshop consisted of older people, many of whom had never written before and just wanted to start. That’s totally cool, it’s just that everything they were telling us were things I have already head a million times back at school. It was however worth it because I got a nifty book on self publishing, a few ideas for blogs and a website I should probably look at. Oh how I wish I could go to the WVU writers workshop this summer. Alas, tis too far away and too much money. Oh well.

Now I am still at my grandparent’s house. Mom and I are leaving tomorrow, visiting James real quick and then going home. Tuesday I have to go back to work where the Germans and drunks are waiting for me. If only I had a desk.

“yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes.”


1 comment:

DeeRoo said...

I feel for perpetual student! Talk to your him get the house finished. The room of your dreams awaits you since you can have the whole apt when the house is done!:)